A number of years ago, there was a David Letterman Top Ten List of "books that didn't sell well". (One of them was Curious George and the Electric Fence, but that's not relevant to the task at hand). One of the books was something like Lose Weight Slowly Through Sensible Diet and Exercise.

If you don't see why this is funny, this diet is not for you.

With a few simple changes, you can lose weight gradually and healthily without feeling like you're starving to death. You don't have to actually be a geek for this diet to work, but the level of precision and reliance on the principle of RTFM makes it a good fit for most sysadmins and other people who have a little OCD on their resume.

First, some disclaimers:

• This will not make you lose weight fast (hence the title).
  
• This diet is like a sonnet (if I may be so bold). A sonnet is a highly structured type of poem with strict rules about meter and number of syllables -- and yet, within that structure, a great deal of personal freedom and expression can be enjoyed. This is the way that you should approach most things in life (IMHO), and this diet is one of them.
  
• This diet will not recommend that you cut an entire food group from your food choices. While such diets may be good for losing weight at a stretch, they do not "scale" -- that is, they do not work well long-term or for a large number of people. Such diets tend to make it harder to actually eat -- which may explain part of why they work -- but they are not sustainable for the rest of your life. This is.
  
• This diet should be tempered with your own best judgment and the guidance of medical personnel. Caveat dietor. Since this diet plan is not about drastic change, it is probably less dangerous than other diets, but I am not a doctor or dietician and my advice should be taken, not with just a grain of salt, but with an entire salt lick that you can take into meetings and slam down on the table and start licking like mad every time someone in your company's Marketing department starts talking about ROI. Did I say that out loud?
  
• No Flash animation will be used to demonstrate good eating techniques. Use your imagination -- it's what separates you from the other animals. :) In fact, in a way, that's what we're trying to accomplish here -- the triumph of reason over unexamined habits.
  
• This seems to be working for me (I've lost 23 pounds in a little more than three months, but I'm not done yet), but it might not work for you.

Now on to the interesting bits.

NOTE: And here I thought that I had an original idea. Turns out that I was wrong. Very well-presented, and more than a decade ago. "Failure, Mr. Jones, is hardly original. Please sit down." -- Bloom County

Here are a few basic rules that I have found helpful. Remember that different things work for different people -- find ways to make the principles underlying these rules workable for you.

• Find out which foods you like to eat are actually good for you, and eat more of them.
• Regulate your average caloric intake. Who cares if you had a Yule Log Burrito on Tuesday if you still met your weekly calorie goal? (Though don't train your body to expect enormous meals -- this should be done within reason).
• Time your snacking to occur at regular times -- halfway between meals.
• Pre-plan your snacking. Keep backup snacks in your car/bag/purse/pockets.
• Restaurant portions are often twice as much as you actually need. Save money and calories by taking half of it home.
• Be aware of what you're eating. Do research. Make your best guess if there's no authoritative source.
• Keep a food log. You'll be amazed at what you're actually eating. Be honest.
• Pre-measure things that tend to "snowball" -- chips, nuts, raisins -- so that you don't go overboard.
• Keep things fun. Trying new foods, lingering in the Health Food section of the grocery store, sharing snacks with your co-workers (either as food items or as projectiles) can be entertaining.
• Identify what makes you not do what's good for you. If you really think about it, are those really very good reasons? Why?

Part One: Make a Calorie Plan
(or, the "really psycho obsessive" bit)
The goal: incur a calorie deficit that will result in gentle weight loss but won't make your body go into "I'm-starving-and-must-save-as-much-fat-as-possible" mode.

The principles are simple:

• You need a certain number of calories to maintain your current weight.
• You need a deficit of 3500 calories to lose a pound.
• You need a minimum number of calories per day to avoid "fat panic" and maintain muscle mass.
• You also need to not go for long periods without eating to avoid "next meal uncertain, better store fat now" mode.

Step 1: Calculate your BMI: about.com | halls.md
Step 2: Calculate your exact age: peterussell.com
Step 3: Calculate your basal caloric rate: room42.com
Step 4: Get different opinions on your ideal weight: halls.md
Step 5: Decide on a weight goal.

Step 6: Calculate the average daily caloric intake necessary to meet your goal.

Part Two: Make a Food Policy
(or, the "OK, this part is pretty psycho, too" bit)
The idea here is to casually explore how you can alter your diet to include things you enjoy but that will also improve your health.

Step 1: Figure out what you're eating now.
Food log. Nutritional info on everything in your house. Nutritional info for the restaurants you go to.
Step 2: Learn about your healthy food choices.
Family and personal health history. Healthy foods that you like to eat.
Step 3: Replace some less-healthy foods with more-healthy foods.
Construct and incorporate a list of source foods that aren't part of your current diet.
Step 4: .

Part Three: Make an Activity Schedule
(or, the "Starting to see a pattern here, Mr. Crazy Man" bit)
This one has a lot of room for personalization. Some people clean house. Some people join a gym. Other people take the stairs and park far away from the door at work. Some people take up social dancing or go hiking alone up Crow Creek Pass with a big bear whistle. Some people bike to work and play with their kids in the yard. Every little bit helps.

Getting started can be hard, though -- especially if you've been in Sloth Land and not moving much. Starting slowly but predictably is the key.

Step 1: Assess your current activity level.
Step 2: Assess your Wallet Impact Tolerance.
Cheap ways to work out - see the Mayo Clinic workout page
Step 3: Assess your Time Impact Tolerance.
A little bit most days is better than a lot twice a week.
Step 4: Survey your interests.

Part Four: Regularly Monitor and Recalibrate
(or, the "hmm, getting less obsessive-compulsive, must wash hands again" bit)

Step 1: Weigh yourself weekly.
Step 2: Readjust your basal intake accordingly.

That's it!
Good luck. Remember to cut yourself a little slack -- but not a lot.

Neither blame nor indulge yourself. - Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon

References

• The Transtheoretical Model of behavioral change
• Biohacking Lite

https://www.alaska.net/~royce/diet.html
was last updated: 2020-06-12