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- 7G08 *** None - Christmas Special
- 7G02 I will not waste chalk
- 7G03 I will not skateboard in the halls
- 7G04 I will not burp in class
- 7G05 *** None
- 7G06 I will not instigate revolution
- 7G09 I will not draw naked ladies in class
- 7G07 I did not see Elvis
- 7G11 *** None
- 7G10 I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
- 7G13 Garlic gum is not funny
- 7G12 They are laughing at me, not with me
- 7G01 I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom
- 7F03 I will not encourage others to fly
- 7F03 I will not fake my way through life
- 7F02 Tar is not a plaything
- 7F04 *** None - Halloween Special
- 7F01 I will not Xerox my butt
- 7F01 It's potato, not potatoe
- 7F05 I will not trade pants with others
- 7F08 I am not a 32 year old woman
- 7F07 I will not do that thing with my tongue
- 7F06 I will not drive the principal's car
- 7F09 I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
- 7F10 I will not sell school property
- 7F11 I will not cut corners
- 7F12 I will not get very far with this attitude
- 7F13 I will not make flatuent noises in class
- 7F15 I will not belch the National Anthem
- 7F16 I will not sell land in Florida
- 7F14 *** None
- 7F17 I will not grease the monkey bars
- 7F18 I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
- 7F19 *** None
- 7F20 I will not do anything bad ever again
- 7F21 I will not show off
- 7F22 I will not sleep through my education
- 7F24 I am not a dentist
- 8F01 Spitwads are not free speech
- 7F23 Nobody likes sunburn slappers
- 8F03 High explosives and school don't mix
- 8F03 I will not bribe Principal Skinner
- 8F04 I will not squeak chalk
- 8F05 I will finish what I sta
- 8F02 *** None - Halloween Special
- 8F06 "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
- 8F07 *** None
- 8F08 Underwear should be worn on the inside
- 8F09 The Christmas Pageant does not stink
- 8F10 I will not torment the emotionally frail
- 8F11 I will not carve gods
- 8F12 *** None
- 8F14 I will not spank others
- 8F16 *** None
- 8F13 I will not aim for the head
- 8F15 I will not barf unless I'm sick
- 8F15 I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
- 8F17 I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
- 8F19 I will not conduct my own fire drills
- 8F20 Funny noises are not funny
- 8F21 I will not spin the turtle
- 8F22 I will not snap bras
- 8F23 I will not fake seizures
- 8F24 This punishment is not boring and pointless
- 8F18 My name is not Dr. Death
- 9F01 I will not defame New Orleans
- 9F02 I will not prescribe medication
- 9F04 *** None - Halloween Special
- 9F03 I will not bury the new kid
- 9F05 I will not teach others to fly
- 9F06 I will not bring sheep to class
- 9F07 A burp is not an answer
- 9F08 Teacher is not a leper
- 9F09 Coffee is not for kids
- 9F10 I will not eat things for money
- 9F11 I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
- 9F12 The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
- 9F13 I will not call the principal "spud head"
- 9F14 Goldfish don't bounce
- 9F15 Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
- 9F17 No one is interested in my underpants
- 9F16 I will not sell miracle cures
- 9F18 I will return the seeing-eye dog
- 9F20 I do not have diplomatic immunity
- 9F19 I will not charge admission to the bathroom
- 9F21 I will never win an Emmy
- 9F22 The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
- 1F02 *** None
- 1F01 *** None
- 1F04 *** None - Halloween Special
- 1F03 *** None
- 1F05 *** None
- 1F06 *** None
- 1F07 All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
- 1F08 I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
- 1F09 I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
- 1F11 My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
- 1F10 I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
- 1F12 *** None
- 1F13 *** None
- 1F14 I am not delightfully saucy
- 1F15 Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
- 1F16 The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
- 1F18 I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
- 1F19 There are plenty of businesses like show business
- 1F21 I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major LeagueBaseball
- 1F20 Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
- 1F22 Beans are neither fruit nor musical
- 1F17 *** None
- 2F33 I will not use abbrev.
- 2F01 I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
- 2F02 *** None
- 2F03 *** None - Halloween Special
- 2F04 I will not send lard through the mail
- 2F05 I will not dissect things unless instructed
- 2F06 I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
- 2F07 *** None
- 2F08 Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
- 2F09 Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
- 2F10 "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
- 2F11 Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
- 2F12 Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
- 2F13 I will not hang donuts on my person
- 2F14 I will remember to take my medication
- 2F31 *** None
- 2F15 I will not strut around like I own the place
- 2F18 The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
- 2F19 I do not have power of attorney over first graders
- 2F32 Nerve gas is not a toy
- 2F21 I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
- 2F22 The First Amendment does not cover burping
- 2F16 This is not a clue...or is it?
- 2F20 I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
- 2F17 "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
- 3F01 No one wants to hear from my armpits
- 3F02 I am not a lean mean spitting machine
- 3F03 The boys room is not a water park
- 3F04 *** None - Halloween Special
- 3F05 Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
- 3F06 *** None
- 3F08 Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
- 3F31 I will only do this once a year
- 3F07 I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
- 3F10 I am not certified to remove asbestos
- 3F09 *** None
- 3F11 *** None
- 3F12 *** None
- 3F13 *** None
- 3F14 *** None
- 3F16 *** None
- 3F15 *** None
- 3F17 *** None
- 3F18 *** None
- 3F19 *** None
- 3F20 *** None
- 3F21 *** None
- 3F22 *** None
- 4F02 *** None - Halloween Special
- 3F23 I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten
- 4F03 I am not my long-lost twin
- 4F05 *** None
- 4F06 *** None
- 4F04 *** None
- 4F01 *** None
- 4F07 *** None
- 3F24 *** None
- 3G01 The truth is not out there
- 4F08 I am not licensed to do anything
- 4F10 *** None
- 3G03 I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
- 4F12 *** None
- 4F11 *** None
- 4F14 *** None
- 4F13 *** None
- 4F15 *** None
- 4F09 *** None
- 4F16 A fire drill does not demand a fire
- 4F17 *** None
- 4F18 *** None
- 4F19 *** None
- 4F20 *** None - Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase
- 4F21 *** None
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