AS any initiate to the practice of system administration knows, the work of a system administrator is nothing other than a form of Kabbalah, which see.
on standards in the Unix world
But you must know that we are all in agreement, whatever we say.
- from the Turba Philosophorum
on MIS executives
People who meet on the street ... secretly dedicate themselves to operations of Black Magic, they bind or seek to bind themselves to the Spirit of Darkness, to satisfy their ambitions, their hates, to do - in a word - Evil.
- J. K. Huysmans, Preface to J. Bois, Le satanisme et la magie, 1895, pp. viii-ix
on rebooting after a PROM failure
Invoke the forces of the Tablet of Union by means of Supreme Ritual of Pentagram, with the Active and Passive Spirit, with Eheieh and Agla. Return to the Altar, and recite the following Enochian Spirit Invocation: Ol Sonuf Vaorsag Goho Iad Balt, Lonsh Calz Vonpho, Sobra Z-ol Ror I Ta Nazps, od Graa Ta Malprg ... Ds Hol-q Qaa Nothoa Zimz, Od Commah Ta Nopbloh Zien ...
- Israel Regardie, The original account of the teachings, rites and ceremonies of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, Ritual for Invisibility, St. Paul, Llewellyn Publications, 1986, p. 423
on conversing with old-time PDP-8 hackers
And from this springs the extraordinary question: Did the Egyptians know about electricity?
- Peter Kolosimo, Terra senza tempo, Milan, Sugar, 1964, p. 111
on software patents
As for the one who will violate it, he shall be seized for Amun-Ra. He shall be for the flame of Sekhmet. He is an enemy of Osiris, lord of Abydos, and so is his son, for ever and ever. May donkeys fuck him; may donkeys fuck his wife; may his wife fuck his son.
- from an ancient Egyptian legal document
on dealing with tech support people
During the day you will approach the frog several times and will utter words of worship. And you will ask it to work the miracles you wish ... Meanwhile you will cut a cross on which to sacrifice it.
- from a ritual of Aleister Crowley
On filesystem tuning
Our exalted task then is to find order in these seven measures, a pattern that is distinct and will keep always the sense alert and the memory clear ... This exalted and incomparable configuration not only performs the function of preserving entrusted things, words, and arts ... but in addition it gives us true knowledge ...
- Giulio Camillo Delminio, L'idea del Theatro, Fiorenze, Torrentino, 1550, Introduction
On asking advice from a Unix hacker
When therefore a Great Cabalist wishes to tell you something, what he says will not be frivolous, vulgar, common, but, rather, a mystery, an oracle ...
- Thomaso Garzoni, Il Theatro de vari e diversi cervelli mondani, Venice, Zanfretti, 1583, discorso XXXVI
On programming in C++
Alchemy, however, is a chaste prostitute, who has many lovers but disappoints all and grants her favours to none. She transforms the haughty into fools, the rich into paupers, the philosophers into dolts, and the deceived into loquacious deceivers ...
- Trithemius, Annalium Hirsaugensium Tomi II, S. Gallo, 1690, 141
On reading system documentation
Poor idiot! Are you so foolish as to believe we will openly teach you the greatest and most important of secrets? I assure you that anyone who attempts to study, according to the ordinary and literal sense of their words, what the Hermetic Philosophers write, will soon find himself in the twists of a labyrinth from which he will be unable to escape, having no Ariadne's thread to lead him out.
- Artephius