1) case of alaskan amber 2) case of wine 3) cask of amontillado 4) maps to homes of the rich and famous 5) maps to homes of the poor and repugnant 6) architectural blueprints (to include electrical/alarm systems) of a certain house in a certain college town on the west coast 7) major role in the Hasidic Historical Society's re-enactment of the anointing of Aaron, high priest of Israel, upon the descension of Moses from Mount Sinai (preferably a non-levitical role) 8) hand-held gene-mapping device 9) dates with one or all of the following: a. tasya chambers b. karen nelson c. angela langston d. linda gerwin e. karen koeneman f. jana sharpe g. brenda miernyk h. tiffany tarrant i. lyle...er, i mean... uh, karyn ward j. mark vucjevic 10) leather pants worn by jana herd ala matrix (operable word = "worn") 11) james brown's hairbrush 12) aaron burr's luck 13) joseph stalin's resolve 14) wilt chamberlain's libido 15) dana scully's underpants 16) a job 17) joycelyn elder's guide to self-fulfillment 18) first printing lp of men without hat's "safety dance" 19) weird al yankovic's perm 20) alan parson's project 21) gerry chamber's imposing stare 22) hillary clinton 23) apple IIe computer complete with working copy of lemon aid stand 24) steve job's blue jeans 25) a lemur or marmoset 26) front row tickets and backstage pass to a radiohead concert 27) lisa simpson incarnate 28) a 64/65 mustang in mint condition 29) a dead-sea scroll 30) a gameshow entitled, "who doesn't want to be a millionaire" 31) an audience with the hisbollah guerilla leader 32) bladder control 33) a room with a view 34) free aol
INTERESTING FACT: John Schumacher was an Amish prostitute in a former life.