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ALASKA's PASSPORT
OK, so you don't really need one. Nevertheless, you can impress your friends with your status as the holder of the Only Known Passport to Alaska. |
| Not to be confused with the state or feds, the Republic of Alaska's sole purpose is to issue "official" Passports to the Great Land for profit.
The first Alaska Passport was issued to the Prime Minister of the Republic on April 1, 1986. Founded on New Year’s Eve, 1985 (over a pinochle game liberally supplied with adult beverages) the Republic thrives because it has no taxes, no crime, moved its capital to Anchorage, and has no elections. Prime Minister Don Neet (his real name) came up with the Alaska Passport idea and persuaded President Ted Smith (his real name) to invest in producing Alaska Passports that would look like a U.S. passport and fool everybody but the feds. Sally Suddock (her real name) was appointed Secretary General and Minister of History, Information and Propaganda, in charge of production. Tourists, of course, snap up the passports. President and Nancy Reagan were issued Alaska Passports upon their visits to Alaska. So were President Reagan’s Joint Chiefs (it is good to maintain diplomatic relations with the United States military). Princess Di and Prince Phillip received one on their passage through Anchorage in 1986, and in recognition of glasnost, then-Secretary General Mikhail Gorbachev was issued his Alaska Passport when his chief of staff visited Alaska in 1988. Scores of nomadic oilfield workers have procured Alaska Passports over the years, as protection against hijackings in the Middle East. (We didn’t think of this when we schemed over Likely Targets to purchase the passport, although it is well known that Americans are targets as hostages overseas. Uneducated terrorists, the oil guys reasoned, probably think Alaska is another country altogether, and would terrorize other hapless Yankees who lacked the wisdom to flash their Alaska Passport in the face of danger.) The Alaska Passport actually is much cooler than the stodgy old U.S. passport. Imprinted with gold on a real faux (fake)-leather cover of blue, the Alaska Passport faithfully reproduces our state's blue & gold flag colors. It contains thumbnail histories of Alaska and her regions; delicate drawings of all the state symbols (with the exception of the State Insect, the four-spot dragonfly, which was not chosen by the Legislature until along about 1994); a map; and tips on travel to the Far North. Plus plenty of room for diary notes or visa stamps of the world and Alaska's visitor centers. You'd like an Alaska Passport, wouldn't you? Of course you want one. Everybody wants one. It's easy to own one for your very own! Just send $5.00 U.S. to the address below, and we'll send you one by return priority mail! If you wish to check the references of the publishers (Details, Inc.), we are members in good standing at the Anchorage Convention & Visitors Bureau, which can be reached at 907-276-4118. You'll find us listed in the bureau's Services section.
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